Online Dating - Loving Yourself is a Must

I wonder how many times we all have heard this statement. Yes, I agree with it wholeheartedly, but I must admit it has always sounded kind of vague to me. I have often wondered how do I really know whether I love myself? How does it show? Do I really know myself? It's easy to say: "Yes, I do". But I don't think it's that simple.

I am in my early thirties and only recently have I started a journey of discovering myself. I know, excuse me for the cliché statement We all have heard it before in various contexts "discover oneself" but what does it really mean?

I am not sure yet, but I think I am getting there. I will be honest it all started by Meeting Someone who inspired me to begin learning about myself and start accepting myself.

For the first time in my life, I started a relationship with a man, who not only wants to learn about me, but wants me to learn about myself and accept my "less desirable" attributes. It was interesting to discover that he had no problem loving me the way I am, with all my flaws and imperfections, but I did!

He was surprised, when, after the initial "I know I am not perfect, but I won't necessarily talk about my flaws right away" stage, I openly admitted that I don't like certain characteristics of my personality.

Sure, I have lots of desirable attributes, I am aware of them and I embrace them. These have allowed me to bring lots of joy and love into people's lives and into my own.

But what about the ones that I have never been exactly proud of? Those that may have been the cause of pain to me or someone else?

Let's face it we all have them, otherwise they wouldn't be that saying "Nobody is perfect".

I wonder how many of us have ever taken time to think about what we are really like, what about us we are proud of and what we are not. Have you? Can you think of something about you that you would like to improve?

I have always been aware of my shortcomings, and I would openly admit my dislike for them. I have tried to push them away, ignore them as that part of me which doesn't really belong to me. "It's the other Janka, not me! I would never do that. I really don't feel very fond of her "kind of mentality.

 It never worked, sooner or later they would surface because they are essentially a part of me. I am starting to understand that constantly denying and disliking certain parts of my personality might have prevented me from loving myself completely and consequently giving my partner the kind of love they deserve.